The Fran Lebowitz Reader

 

"...except in extremely rare instances people are pretty much like everyone else. They all say the same things, have the same names and wear their hair in the same styles...Below you will find the complete and unabridged record of the general conversation of the general public since time immemorial: 

a. Hi, how are you?
b. I did not. 
c. Good. Now you know how I felt. 
d. Do you mind if I go ahead of you? I only have these few things."