A Fool in Paradise: An Artist's Early Life by Doris McCarthy

"When it became apparent that it was not to be now, that he could not take the difficult step, I decided that we must go back to being just friends. I practised saying, 'I don't need him, to hell with him,' while I weeded the garden. It wasn't very convincing, but it was an attempt to practise what I have come to believe, that if you act the way you wish you felt, you will eventually come to feel it."