The Dud Avocado by Elaine Dundy

"'Basically,' he began, 'the tourist can be divided into two categories. The Organized -- the Disorganized; Under Organized you find two distinct types: the Eager-Beaver-Culture-Vulture with the list ten yards long, who just manages to get it all crossed off before she collapses of aesthetic indigestion each night and has to be carried back to her hotel; and second, the cool, suave Sophisticate, who comes gliding over gracefully, calmly, and indifferently. But don't be fooled by her indifference. This babe is determined to maintain her incorruptible standards of cleanliness and efficiency if the entire staff of her hotel dies trying. She belongs to the take-your-own-toilet-paper set.'"