My Struggle 4: Dancing in the Dark by Karl Ove Knausgaard

"When we were together I always left early so that he would not discover how boring I really was. There was a kind of fever in me, two conflicting emotions, such as on the spring morning when we skived off school and went by moped back to his and listened to records on the lawn. It was fantastic, yet I felt I had to bring it to a close, something told me I wasn't worthy or couldn't fulfil his expectations."