"I will
not be placated by the mechanical motions of existence, nor find consolation in the solicitude of waiters who notice my devastated face. Sleep tries to seduce me by promising a more reasonable tomorrow. But I will not be betrayed but such a Judas of fallacy: it betrays everyone: it leads them into death. Everyone acquiesces: everyone compromises.
They say, As we grow older we embrace resignation.
But O, they totter into it blind and unprotesting. And from their sin, the sin of accepting such a pimp to death, there is no redemption. It is the sin of damnation...The pain was unbearable but I did not want it to end: it had
operatic grandeur."
